So, God is talking to me. From the moment a work colleague, Luke told a story in the Morning meeting about not forgetting to ask for the little things…I’ve been hearing Him. Luke, who staggers his work hours to avoid crowded tube’s after 7/7, makes a point of noting who is sitting near him in … Continue reading I asked for little things at Greenbelt
You miss me most when you're craving Your heart of discontent And then you cry you're worth saving On this, i daily lament. It hurts to see you head strong When your heart is so very weak. All sacrifice seems worthless. I long For the prayer which you never speak. All I ask is that … Continue reading Headstrong
See, the crackle and burn of your grace? Sound sears through icy dark, Lays a hand on my face Like solar flares, your love purges, Frees the mercy you promise. Faith and trust born, merges. Nothing could be more simple; You. Love. Me... And all you bestow is ample Nothing's more harder to understand, Forgiveness, … Continue reading Poem: Crackle and burn
'Mighty you are', they say And how they revere your name They lift their heads to heaven Mine dips, with the heaviness of shame I'll sit aside and listen. But, In holiness, did you say 'compete'? Chapter and verse escape me For unworthiness nails me meek I endeavour to catch just a glimpse But I'm … Continue reading Poem: Stay
I didn’t take a single photo. And it was a beautiful wedding. The fact that it was at All Souls, and it’s April…grated on me. And if I’m totally honest – I hated every minute. Please don’t tell the bride. I left the evening reception rather abruptly – dashing out Cinderella-esq after a lovely comment … Continue reading I hate weddings
I glimpse myself through your eyes Only when I'm most filthy Your voice, light through mud flames burning purity You make me beautiful I am what I most despise But you never see me filthy You see light in thorns, My flame ignites You make me beautiful In my most desolate cries You whisper what … Continue reading Poem: Beautiful
So, I'm less than 100 metres from Church, sitting in All Bar One with my second large glass of wine... Now, worshipping God is not at the forefront of my mind, it's just the guilt that lingers. What's really making me want to go? Love? Not sure I'm feeling that at the moment. Actually, I'm … Continue reading A ‘down’ day
I went to Vegas Vegas weddings are not what I thought they’d be. The first thing everyone kept asking me when I said I was going to one was, “Is it in one of those chapels?” And, “will there be an Elvis?” And so…I expected to see an Elvis. I didn’t see one, the whole … Continue reading I went to Vegas
I've not told a single one of my friends as yet. Partly because of the shame of it, partly because that if i tell people, i'm admitting it's happened. The words feel unreal to me, and i'm not sure people will believe me.
The only time i really cried was this mroning, when it dawned on me he has taken my children away from me. We were planning a family, and had chosen names for both a boy and a girl that will now never be.