A ‘down’ day

So, I’m less than 100 metres from Church, sitting in All Bar One with my second large glass of wine…

Now, worshipping God is not at the forefront of my mind, it’s just the guilt that lingers. What’s really making me want to go? Love? Not sure I’m feeling that at the moment. Actually, I’m not feeling it at all…

I’m watching the big hand on the large clock swing round, and it’s nearing a quarter past.. I should leave very soon if I’m going to make the service…

I’ve been torn, really torn about my posting recently; taking where I’m working into consideration. But recently, especially since I didn’t pass my three month probation, and I’m on probation for another three months, I think I shall revert, and continue to be honest with myself (having taken all Facebook links etc down!!)

Two large glasses of wine… And I’m driving. I’m not sure what I think I’m doing, but I’m not ‘well’ today. I’m thinking of Jules

Lonely. How can you be lonely in a house full of people? I think it doesn’t help that, being at mum and dads for a while, I have to listen to constant negativity from their part… They walk backwards, constantly. They offer nothing to look forward to.. Except, the worst.

It’s a quarter past. I’ll go to church. Half cut. And see what God has to say to me.