I've not told a single one of my friends as yet. Partly because of the shame of it, partly because that if i tell people, i'm admitting it's happened. The words feel unreal to me, and i'm not sure people will believe me.
The only time i really cried was this mroning, when it dawned on me he has taken my children away from me. We were planning a family, and had chosen names for both a boy and a girl that will now never be.