You miss me most when you're craving Your heart of discontent And then you cry you're worth saving On this, i daily lament. It hurts to see you head strong When your heart is so very weak. All sacrifice seems worthless. I long For the prayer which you never speak. All I ask is that … Continue reading Headstrong
I have £2 in my bank account, this should last me to the end of the month. No, that’s not a typo. And yes, it's only the 19th... I'd have never envisaged just how many things you actually have to deal with when you separate from someone. We had a home, shared bills and bank … Continue reading £2 is not a lot
My knees are raw with bending, Sun and moon are my witness It seems like you do not see? They bless me with light, And you with darkness. Keening ears ache in the silence, You do not speak to me. And then, you glance my way; Saw love trapped behind watery eyes. Maybe you heard … Continue reading Poem: The ask
I didn’t take a single photo. And it was a beautiful wedding. The fact that it was at All Souls, and it’s April…grated on me. And if I’m totally honest – I hated every minute. Please don’t tell the bride. I left the evening reception rather abruptly – dashing out Cinderella-esq after a lovely comment … Continue reading I hate weddings
Let me see something real? I envisage your eyes, dark And the slant of your lips So untrustworthy is your soul. Dark, is the slant of your lips So untrustworthy is your soul Embrace the spectre you are Yield to your hypnotic appeal Tired of the spectre you are I Yeild to your hypnotic appeal … Continue reading Poem: Spectre
I'm just reviewing my recent poetry. And considering how, when I've only just started to write again, after a good year or so of being frozen... It's pretty dark. My moods fluctuate alarmingly, as you know, or can imagine, if you 'know me' - but, I didn't realise how 'dark' I was. I worry that … Continue reading Poem: Not
I glimpse myself through your eyes Only when I'm most filthy Your voice, light through mud flames burning purity You make me beautiful I am what I most despise But you never see me filthy You see light in thorns, My flame ignites You make me beautiful In my most desolate cries You whisper what … Continue reading Poem: Beautiful
So, I'm less than 100 metres from Church, sitting in All Bar One with my second large glass of wine... Now, worshipping God is not at the forefront of my mind, it's just the guilt that lingers. What's really making me want to go? Love? Not sure I'm feeling that at the moment. Actually, I'm … Continue reading A ‘down’ day
I've not told a single one of my friends as yet. Partly because of the shame of it, partly because that if i tell people, i'm admitting it's happened. The words feel unreal to me, and i'm not sure people will believe me.
The only time i really cried was this mroning, when it dawned on me he has taken my children away from me. We were planning a family, and had chosen names for both a boy and a girl that will now never be.