“The heart is deceitful above all things…” Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)

It’s almost two months since our wedding, and after the chaos of organising, booking and a depleted bank account, you’d think we’d settle back into a life more ordinary. Not so: one particular aspect which seems to be the arch nemesis of my perfect Christian Life just won’t crawl under a bench and go away – Alcohol.

So now it’s not just me I’m worrying about – but my new husband. We’re not long back from honeymoon when he goes out for a ‘quiet’ drink after work one Friday for a colleague’s leaving do. We have ASLAN early the next morning – and so i remind him not to ‘overdo’ it.

Even he’s not sure how this happens, but after texting me at 1am-ish to say he’s on the way home, he goes missing for 10hours, waking up in a police station in Greenwich on Saturday afternoon.

I’d gone to serve at the day centre on Webber Street that morning, thinking that he would join me there, but no sign. I had had to ring round hospitals before I could report him missing to the police. This left the ASLAN team two men down with 60 or so homeless men and women that could not have a shower that morning.

My team leader there had prayed for me before sending me home. And we both thanked God after, that he was picked up by the police, and that nothing awful had happened.

In my heart I know I’m only half listening to this lesson. If I’m totally honest with myself I’m one of ‘those’ Christians that says I can drink/do/wear what I want because I’m not under law. I’m under grace.

But how does that show my love and devotion to HIM?

I made the Midweek service at All Soul’s today, and Rico spoke on Mark 14:1 -11 – the woman with alabaster jar, who poured £20k worth of perfume over Jesus’ head. Those at the dinner table with him reprimanded her. But Jesus said of her, “8She did what she could.” Meaning, she lived for Christ. Shirking what people thought of her to show her devotion to JC.

Paul’s letter to Titus teaches: “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,” Titus 2: 11-12

I led a bible study for Fellowship Group for the first time the other week. It was on 2 Timothy 3: 10 – 17: Here Paul is teaching Timothy to lead by example. He’s telling Timothy to ignore the ways of the world, just as he had. “10You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, 11persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured.”

I’ve an inkling that Paul never got home after one of these stressful occasions and cracked open a bottle of red wine with the words, “I’ve had SUCH a bad day! A glass or two should relax me a tad!”

Ephesians 5:18: ” Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit”.

In my heart I love God and, like my earthly father, I want him to be proud of me always. But I also know that that very same heart justifies a lot of the bad that I do. I fail ALL the time. EVERY day! I wonder sometimes if it’s worth me trying at all.

Jeremiah 17:9: “ 9The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

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