Trapped in my bracelet.
The hazard of one.
Struggle to put on,
Hassle to get off.
I need a firm hand,
To caress my wrist,
In the removal
Of this bracelet.
I’m a bit crap at resolutions, me
I try to find the fusion you see
Between easy, with something impressive
That will raise an eyebrow, or two
I try to allude to tenacity
But in the end my resolve to be
– good melts, like the ice in a baileys dream.
Or, disappears – like my running shoes…(ahem)
It’s something about Willpower..and me.
The two of us – we have no intimacy.
So I steer clear, avoid the exertion
Of beating myself up..or putting me, down.
So! It’s fruitless, and I think you’ll agree
That me, and a resolution will not see
Eye to eye; with an exception of one.
To laugh hard, and often…and mostly at me…
I’ll allow the tv to collect dust;
Fame, drama, lust and celebrity;
White noise, no poise just
Do not bring you nearer to me.
I’m putting a curb on my tongue;
Lies, gossip, fake intimacy
Dark fun – all leave hearts stung
and, does not bring you nearer to me.
I’ll stick to these resolutions.
New Year, trite promises see
Habits stricken, love proven;
A chance to bring you nearer to me.
I’m erecting a fence around my heart;
Gated, protected. A place to be
Me; with more of you. To start
Afresh, and bring you nearer to me.
I blame laughter and Sauvignon Blanc;
Friday night, an inept DJ.
I wonder how you read my misspelled words.
Did they whisper or shout at 2am?
Mute in the light; grey and painful,
Each idiom deciphered, pored over.
Now expectancy fills the space in my chest,
Heavy and humid like my damp flat.
Present residue, just as unwelcome.
Your silence is unfamiliar; jarring as a 10cc engine.
Immersed in the pounding silence,
I realise…it matters. It saps the energy to shrug.
Another minute goes by, void of you.
Your fingertips shaped Creation,
And what was good is perfect.
more than worthy of respect.
Extravagant your bestowing
Light, entity, a deluge of galaxies.
Meticulous Designer, fore-knowing
Scrutiny, query in life’s galleries.
Indulgent Father, I create anarchy
An unintentioned disposition
Still, you relinquish your love to me
Lavishly, at your own volition.
Reshape my miniscule soul?
World wearied, in disproportion
Transform me, mould me whole?
Pure. Like when you shaped Creation.
Orange skies and Lemoncello.
So clings the last vestige of day.
She’s supine, captured in yellow.
Cherry red lips parted.
Cloudless, open are the heavens,
Ear cocked to hear her prayer.
She’s wordless, emptied even,
Her contrition halted.
Tell her heaven hears her speaking,
No matter how quiet the sound.
Catch her before she’s weeping.
So the seeds are planted.
You miss me most when you’re craving
Your heart of discontent
And then you cry you’re worth saving
On this, i daily lament.
It hurts to see you head strong
When your heart is so very weak.
All sacrifice seems worthless. I long
For the prayer which you never speak.
All I ask is that you love me
I made grace so very easy for you
look away from your pained reverie
Trust my strength will see you through.
You’d think they’d quench the burn;
Silent rivulets of pain.
Dirty fingers wipe in turn
Each eye, mascara stained.
Breath, staccato beats a motto,
Echoes of the heart inside.
Whispered anthem for tomorrow,
Body braced to ride the tide.
What escapes faith bruised lips?
Sound more eloquent than words.
When the grasp on silence gently slips,
The soul still aches for what’s unheard.
‘Mighty you are’, they say
And how they revere your name
They lift their heads to heaven
Mine dips, with the heaviness of shame
I’ll sit aside and listen. But,
In holiness, did you say ‘compete’?
Chapter and verse escape me
For unworthiness nails me meek
I endeavour to catch just a glimpse
But I’m far too small to see,
Poised on the balls of my feet
Obscured by hands raised in front of me
I’d like to think that you would stay
Carry me, and heal my filthy heart
Could you touch such as me, so defiled?
I pray, ‘Please, stay while I fall apart’.
Romans 8:35 & Luke 7:36-50
Let me see something real?
I envisage your eyes, dark
And the slant of your lips
So untrustworthy is your soul.
Dark, is the slant of your lips
So untrustworthy is your soul
Embrace the spectre you are
Yield to your hypnotic appeal
Tired of the spectre you are
I Yeild to your hypnotic appeal
Justification in my palm
I forget with the 7am alarm