Poem: Your eyes disappointed me most.

Two years ago i found out my husband of five months had cheated on me. Happy Anniversary:

Your eyes disappointed me most.
What I mistook for deep wells of honesty,
Were actually fathomless pools of regret.
And, each declaration you bestowed on me
Was your own, furtive lament.

Now i bow to you, awesome piece of work.
And though mascara peppers the porcelain
I think: how clever you have been,
to use that same mouth for her and me
And not stumble on the intent.

Your deception was so profound,
not even the altar could alter it.
Your words still sit like bile on water,
Dirty consequences of your infidelity
Fixed in my heart like cement.

Oh yes, I bow because of you,
Not the last debasement I ever do.
Wine wretched stomach retching,
And a topsy-turvy salute,
To love that came and went.

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Poem: The Old Man

Cars and buses, feet on wet pavement,

Swoosh, tap, pace, and rap.

And you, oblivious to time, you lament

At dark windows, docking your cap.

Dapper old man in your battered suit,

Aiming your lighter toward your fag,

A story set in your own head, you salute

All that is familiar to you; a sad,

Weathered building in Muswell Hill.

Lights green, clutch off, and off,

I launch myself into now, and still

Seeing you, rush from all that was silent.

 

The Only One

I’ve been following the news story on the shootings in Annecy, in the French Alps.

I picture the four year old who was found 8 hours later, cowering under the bodies of her parents and think, what sort of human being would do that?

Zeena has inspired me to start a short story…

My ears pricked to the sound of distant sirens. Yes, they were coming my way.

I closed my eyes, but could still feel the steady drip of liquid splattering against my left cheek. It ran uncomfortably down the back of my neck, and pooled under my shoulder. I tried to ignore the fact that it was still warm.

The sirens had cut through a thick and disorientating silence. Their oscillating wail stepping in to replace the heartbreaking cacophony that had stopped just a few moments before. It was a moment I wanted to claw back; the lull slipping away like the unchecked tears from my squeezed eyelids.

I couldn’t, block out the grating monotony of sound. Instead of trying to make myself small, encouraging the world to skip past me, my whole being betrayed me by exploding.  It was a while before I realised the new, inhuman scream was coming from my own mouth.

I hope to finish in the next few days or so.