October 2011

I spent £120 this morning for a solicitor to tell me that I can’t divorce him until a year after the date on our marriage certificate. (?!) And then the decree absolute will be finalised around six months after.

I won’t go into the obvious of what this means…emotionally, but basically I’m just gutted. Again.
After the info late last week, that he’s possibly still with her, it just seems so unfair that she’s reveling in what she’s done, and I’m left with this huge gaping hole. Although, part of me feels that I shouldn’t be listening to hearsay.

I can manage practicalities at the moment; family, friends. Even helping to tie ribbons on my friend’s wedding invitations; although part of me wanted stab myself in the eye while I was doing it…

The numbness has morphed into a constant pain now…sometimes it’s just beneath the surface, invisible. Sometimes it’s a lump in my chest…but mostly it just hurts all the time.