Why Can’t I Pray?

So..Fellowship Groups started again this Tuesday for the Autumn/Winter season. We’re reading 1 Samuel – and so far so good! I’m trying to understand Hannah, and what sort of belief/faith it takes for you to continuously ask God for something for half your life, and still love God – even when you don’t receive. And then when you do receive..to love him enough to give it back to him?!

You would think a story like that would move me to Prayer, right?! I’m telling you…my words don’t even catch in my throat…they hang about hotly around my ears somewhere.

I’m not taking this lightly..and i have to find some sort of cure. I mean..I’ve taken exams; i studied at University..i WRITE POETRY!?? And i can’t pray?

There were five of us last night….and at the end of the study we all voiced our prayer requests. R wrote them into an email which would later be mailed to each of us – and then we bowed our heads.

R is so eloquent, but it may have been easier for him as he had just written the prayer requests down. S has only been a committed Christian for about 2 years – but even within a year she’d thrown herself into working with ASLAN and other All Souls related things. She prays with her heart….an articulate keening expression of faith.

B is a quiet soul, and this reflects in her prayers. She’s thoughtful, and will pick a strand that touches each of us, to lift us infront of God our Father. M is clear-cut, and his uncomplicated and confident prayers were short and sharp.

Why can’t i?

fellowship group

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A Little Stressed? Are You KIDDING Me?!

sharon harriott

I had a dream last night about the poetry events i’m working on for Michael Horovitz and Alexander De Cadenet. In it, i was was making calls, and sending email after email to journalists with a growing sense of apprehension.

Weird dreams..the spot that’s erupted on my cheek this morning…i must be stressed!

And this isn’t even taking the wedding plans into account! My Facebook status asked the question: Can i get out of table planning by putting on a game of Musical Chairs for the wedding? I have a suspicion that maybe not.

My to do list:
Find a florist
Buy a Bridesmaid dress, plus the Flower Girls and Page Boys
Tally the Tables
Dig out a DJ
Save the Dates – (are these lost in the post or what?!!)
Write the wording for the invites

Getting off the tube this morning – i stepped out on to a wet and windy Oxford Circus. It was a bit miserable – but as i slipped on the wet pavement i nearly cried! If that wasn’t bad enough – the Big Issue seller turned to me and said – ‘you falling for me love?’ – but instead of scowling, i laughed!

I’ve been contemplating getting a tattoo – well it was meant to be just the one. Now, i’m thinking of having a bible verse on my wrist as well – 1 John 4:10.

Mum’ll kill me.